This article is based upon Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom by Dr. William Glasser. It is an excellent read and is highly recommended for both business owners and individuals suffering from emotional blocks in their personal lives.
The basis for Dr. Glasser’s psychology is personal choice and the fact that we choose everything in our lives, with no exception. He discusses each of our varying needs for power, freedom, love and bonding, stability, and fun. He also discusses how our emotions are active choices, not passive occurrences which happen to us. Someone or something does not make us angry, we choose to anger. Circumstances are not frustrating, we choose to frustrate. Dr. Glasser states that defining these terms honestly, in active tense, is instrumental in learning that we choose everything that we feel, believe and act upon and that these personal choices can make or break us, but that they are our choices, not somebody else’s.
Let us practice some of these actively stated emotions with respect to the workplace environment. One of your employees keeps coming in late and you actively choose to frustrate over this. Your quarterly earnings do not meet the projected rates and now you choose to worry. Your marriage is on the rocks and you hate being away from home, so you choose to dissociate and not concentrate on the job at hand. Your life is not how you wanted it to be, and yet you specifically and purposely chose every single thing which led up to your current level of angering.
In addition to changing the realistic description of your emotions so that you recognize how in control you really are, Dr. Glasser also recommends that you think about all of the relationships in your life, romantic, familial and professional. Before you react to someone’s behavior, ask yourself one question, “Will my behavior draw me closer to this person or push me further away from them?” Dr. Glasser describes how attempting to control someone will push them further away and how giving them personal freedom of choice will draw them closer to you. There is a myth that marriage vows and senior executive positions safeguard you from consequences for your actions. Many individuals believe that their marriage gives them room to behave in an inappropriate manner or that their job status gives them security. However, relationships are simply points in space, and both individuals have to show up every day in order to continue having that relationship. There are no invisible bonds keeping either party somehow tied to the other. Even after twenty years of marriage, the decision to show up every day has to be active and mutual.
Threats, cajoling, excuses, downsizing irresponsible behavior, lack of responsibility and abusive attitudes all actively work to threaten your company and your relationship with your company employees. Good management will override the need for less professional behavior. Drug and alcohol testing will strengthen the relationships with your employees and create a positive working environment.
